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Mommy life

0 In Trending

“The System” Wasn’t The Only One to Fail Maleah Davis

Ever since I came across the Maleah Davis case a little over a week ago I knew something was not right. If you aren’t familiar with the case, 4 year old Maleah Davis was reported missing by her mother’s fiancé, who  the news has been referring to as Maleah’s stepfather. The “stepfather” claimed that he pulled over on the way to the airport to investigate what he thought was a flat tire when he, Maleah, and his one year old son were abducted by 3 men. According to the news he claims he was in and out of consciousness for a period of almost 24 hours when he woke up on the side of the highway with his son, but without his stepdaughter.

Right away I called BS. There’s just no way. I don’t have any type of degree in law or any professional police training and I knew this crap just did not sound right. Fast forward to the end of the week after multiple revelations of past cps cases, the “missing” car being found and Maleah’s medical history when we finally hear something that makes sense from Maleah’s mother. She suspects her now “ex” had something to do with Maleah’s disappearance.

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0 In life

What to Do When You Suspect Abuse at School

When I picked RJ up from school a few weeks ago he was sitting at the table in his classroom pouting. This wasn’t that much of a shocker to me. He’s a moody 4 year old, he’s whiny and he’s a pouter much like most kids his age. But when I found out the reason he was pouting I was surprised. He told me he was in trouble for punching his teacher. Ummmm, what?! Of all the adjectives I just used to describe my child aggressive was not one of them. My child isn’t nor has he ever been a hitter. He’s a sweet kid, he’s a cuddler and sometimes he is just too dang friendly. So if I had to pin down one word to express my feelings in the exact moment he looked me in the face and told me he punched his teacher it would be… CONFUSED. 

In the moment all I could say was exactly what was in my head…. WHAT??? Why would you punch the teacher. I questioned him repeatedly once we got home about what exactly happened in the situation that would lead him to believe it’s OK to put his hands on anyone, much less an adult. The only thing response he gave me or his father as much as he asked was that he was afraid. This happened on a Friday and Sunday night rolled around and I mentioned the incident to his grandmother and in front of me he gave her the same response.

When I left, he had a completely different story.

RJ told his grandmother, after I had been asking him all weekend that he was afraid to go back to school because the teacher hit him. *cue another Ummmm, what?!* This time I wasn’t confused. The maternal instinctual feeling was rage. I had no idea how to even begin to process the 100% emotional reaction that I was having to my preschooler telling me that his teacher put their hands on him. Thankfully, the incident was resolved quickly and I’m comfortable with the outcome however, in the time we live in these happenings are become far to frequent. The news stories are highlighted everywhere and I’m wondering if people are listening to the cues from their children so that we can prevent these things from happening as much as possible.

What Do You Do When You Suspect Abuse at School?

Take a deep breath – I almost added this as the last tip but it needs to be said first. Breathe, assess and don’t react. Easier said than done, but reacting without assessing the situation could be detrimental in many aspects. It’s so important to collect yourself first so that you can respond to the situation as calmly as possible.

Watch your child – Children don’t always have the words to express what is happening. And even if they do, they may be nervous to share what they are experiencing. RJ repeatedly told me he was scared and refused to say anything else. Up until this particular incident he never expressed any anxiety about going to school. He loves to play with his friends and he loves the interaction he gets with both his teachers. Him expressing fear about school was definitely a behavioral shift, something that couldn’t go ignored.

Speak to the teacher privately – And when I say privately I mean without your child present. RJs situation turned out to be a misunderstanding (trust me, it was investigated fully) but I believe addressing the situation with the teacher privately is one of the most important steps. You want to be able to get a full scope of the situation without causing any more adverse negative effects. So in this instance, I didn’t want RJ to feel even more uncomfortable with being in the classroom in the event that he was to remain in that class.

Speak with school administrators – You want to have everything on record in the event that another situation happens. So even if the situation is “resolved” within the classroom it should still be brought to the attention of someone else and a formal report should be made.

Don’t feel any type of guilt. The safety of your child comes first.

Document everything – This again is merely another step in covering yourself in case you need to escalate. If you can have each meeting documented and signed by all that were in attendance so that there are no discrepancies.

Utilize the open door policy – I know in most cases we send our children to school with the expectation that they’re going to be well taken care of and you don’t have to worry, but if you worry then check in. My son’s school has an open door policy which I definitely utilize. Don’t feel bad about popping up unexpected. If you can check in unannounced, you may feel. It also gives you a chance to see the true classroom dynamic at any given time.

Change your child’s class – If it comes down to it, have your child moved to a different class. Both you and your child deserve to be in a situation you feel comfortable with. If you suspect or have a fear your child is being mistreated or treated differently after investigating the event, a change may be needed.

Stick to your guns and follow your instinct – This is a two in one tip. As a parent no one in the world knows your child better than you. Follow their cues, and your instinct if you feel something is amiss. You deserve to be comfortable with the care your child is receiving when they are away from you.

You’re doing amazing mamas! I’m so proud of you!

0 In Disney/ Entertainment

Disneynature Penguins: Getting Your Kids Excited About Earth Day

I’m not gonna lie, the Disneynature movies don’t get the same amount of love that other Disney movies get.  Unless you’re a one year old. If Zayn is excited about any movie coming out, it’s this one. He knows what the trailer sounds like and when he hears the commercial come on Disney Junior he’s running in from another room to catch it. It’s always adorable to see him gasp and point like it’s his first time. Every single time.

My kids are animal lovers. I’m pretty sure RJ has transferred his love of animals to his little brother. We frequent zoos, the aquarium and take all chances to get up close and personal with animals. The majority of their favorite movies involve animal characters and RJ spends a lot of time perfecting his animal sounds. It only makes sense that they’re just as excited about this movie as any other one. I’m also pretty sure that they think it’s going to be something similar to Happy Feet. They still watch that movie on repeat. Continue Reading →

0 In life/ Uncategorized

5 Tips to Deal with Maternal Separation Anxiety

You never really know what kind of parent you’re going to be. I worried from the very beginning about the type of mom I would be. Would I be too easy going? Would my kids listen? Am I capable of providing my children with a life that wouldn’t require therapy some 15-20 years down the line? Parenting is a constant merry go round of one worry or the other and no one can quite prep you for just how it feels. But the one thing I didn’t expect to worry about as much as I do? Leaving them.

It’s not like separation anxiety is a new topic in the parenting community. If you google it you can find tons of articles and sites dedicated to how to deal with separation anxiety through all ages of infancy and adolescence. But what happens when the shoe is on the other foot? I know I can’t be the only mom out there whose heart beats a little faster when it’s time for me to leave my kids. My anxiety is not that bad, I’m not talk about a regular day to do basis in which I leave and go to work. However, I have been blessed with many opportunities to travel recently and it never fails, a few days before it’s time to go the voices in my head go crazy and the dread creeps in.

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1 In life

People Are Always Shocked When I Tell Them This One Thing My Kids Haven’t Done

We have been blessed with the ability to live in one of the busiest cities in the U.S.. For the most part, I love living in NYC. There truly is always something to do if you’re looking. We really take the name of the city that never sleeps to heart. That being said, I probably haven’t done like 85% of the things that one would expect when you live in a city this big. I’ve never been to a broadway show, I can’t remember if I’ve been to the statue of liberty, & I’ve only been in Times Square after midnight because I used to work in one of the stores there. I feel like I was a pretty sheltered child. I didn’t REALLY start to experience the magic of the city until I was old enough to venture there alone. I’m pretty sure thats common growing up here.

I was taking the subway alone by the time I was 12, maybe younger. My brother and I would take the train and the bus, from our house to my grandmas house on the weekends. Back then I don’t think it was that abnormal to see young children on the train alone. At 12 I was probably the size of a 9/10 year old, but I still remember taking that trip when the time came. It was no big deal. It’s never felt like a big deal especially living here, until I had children of my own. Continue Reading →

0 In Uncategorized

5 Tips for Stress Free Potty Training for Boys

I’m just going to admit it, whenever people ask me for potty training tips I struggle. More often than not I tell people I didn’t even potty train RJ, he basically did it himself. He was a very easy child on the potty front and it came to him quickly. He hated the feeling of wet underwear and within a course of 2/3 days he had very few accidents before he decided that the wet undie life was not for him. There are hundreds of resources out there that tell you how and when to potty train but mom to mom, my son was potty trained in 3 days, IF that. I felt absolutely no stress during the process and I was SO proud of how quick he got it. I’m just here to share with you guys what worked for me. Continue Reading →

0 In life

15 (No Candy) Easter Basket Ideas for Boys

It was JUST Christmas and now here we are, planning the next holiday. I love giving gifts, and I love the excitement of any holiday. Call me a sucker but I’ll celebrate ALL the days in the name of making my children smile.

What we NOT finna do though is have tons of candy in my house. It’s a fight to get RJ to brush his teeth regularly. So any holiday that involves candy (and of course he only likes the chewy sticky kind) we have to find alternatives. Not to mention they have enough energy on their own, they don’t need the assistance of sugar. Since Easter is a little over a month away, I wanted to share some ideas with you for things you can fill your little boys Easter basket with that won’t have them making more dentist visits than required. Continue Reading →

0 In Trending

Is Stitch Fix for Black Girls?

If you’re side-eyeing my post from the title then, this ain’t for you booboo. Feel free to visit one of my other amazing posts (I have some pretty good things up about Aladdin & apologizing to my children). This posts is for the people who are wondering the exact thing about my title. Is Stitch Fix for black girls? Do they have pieces I’m going to like? Are they going to fit my body type? Do they have prices that are affordable?I’m here to answer ALL the things for you, sis!

I am a mom to 2 young and ENERGETIC little boys. So mall trips are few and far between. And even before I had kids I’m going to just put it out there and admit it, I love clothes but I haters  shopping. The messiness of the mall triggers my anxiety. I have always been an online shopper/returner. It’s definitely how I’m most comfortable buying my clothes.

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12 In life

I Always Apologize to My Children

We live in the age of overshare. Everyone wants you to know what they’re doing, how and why they’re doing it and then convince you that you need to do it too. Along with that comes the trolls, the opinions no one asked for and the people who just have too much time on their hands. Parenting is one of the topics that come across my feeds often. Being someone who writes in the parenting niche my feeds are full of moms, bloggers and not. Unfortunately, that comes with seeing way too many sad stories involving children. My heart breaks a little bit every single day with some of the stories that I come across.

Daycare abuse, boyfriends killing their girlfriends children and bullying are all too common news titles today. But the stories that always break my heart: child suicide. And one that especially triggered me a couple weeks ago, was concerning a young girl who hanged herself, at 9 after an argument with her mom. As a parent I can only imagine what it’s like to find you child took their own life. I can also imagine the million and one thoughts that went through that moms head as she replayed the last moments she spent with her daughter. Continue Reading →

0 In life

I Stopped Breastfeeding Cold Turkey

From the moment I became pregnant with my first child I knew I wanted to be a breastfeeding mama. I always wanted to do what I felt was the best for my child and breastfeeding was at the top of that list. I’m a reader y’all. So when the time came, I was reading all the articles and researching all the things. If I was about to take this on I knew I had to approach it in a factual matter. Breastfeeding turned out to be one of the hardest parts of new mom life I took on. BOTH TIMES.

But from the outside looking in, your probably wouldn’t have been able to tell. I never complained when RJs latch was so bad it split my nipple open. You never would have known that I got thrush on both nipples with Zayn and whenever it was time to latch it looked like we were waiting to jump in the rope for double dutch. You know the move. Back and forth. Back and forth. Pacing yourself until its finally the right moment to JUST JUMP IN. I cried whenever he finally did latch. I’m not going to sugarcoat it for y’all and say it was easy because it was HARD. But I took it all in stride because the benefits, the bond, the moments I were not in pain were some of the most amazing moments I’ve shared with my sons to date.

So when it was time to wean I knew it wasn’t going to be easy.

What I didn’t know, was who it was going to be the hardest for. Trust me both times, as soon as the boys turned 1 I started to get flooded with the “when are you going to wean him?”questions. My body, that I was already sharing with another person (and had been for almost two years) suddenly became everybody else’s business. Everybody for whatever reason seemed to be so pressed on me stopping, even though there are proven benefits to extended breastfeeding. Still I persevered. And believe me when I say, there were times when I questioned my decision and just wanted my body back. I wondered if I was still benefitting them or just doing it because I didn’t want to deal with the middle of the night screaming that would surely come with night weaning.

But like every other part of motherhood, the decision to wean came easiest when I was making it for myself.

And heads are probably rolling in the breastfeeding community with the title of this post alone. Cold turkey weaning for a breastfed child is looked at as the equivalent to a torture chamber. But it worked for my boys. It worked for me. Everyone is happy. I stopped breastfeeding cold turkey and I don’t feel guilty about it at all.

0 In Entertainment

8 Kids Apps We Use Instead of YouTube

I’m not even gonna get too deep into explanations because I’m sure youve already seen the articles all over Facebook about the MoMo Challenge and the video that was found by a pediatrician on Kids YouTube that instructs children how to commit suicide. As parents its our job to protect our children. Plain and simple. There a understandably moments where unplugging is difficult, so if you NEED it, here are some alternative apps you can use to keep the kiddies off YouTube.

Netflix

We love Netflix kids programming. They have a range of movies, preschool programming, and loads of educational content. We love watching Disney movies (we’ll be sad when their gone) and one of our favorite Netflix original kids shows right now is Motown Magic.

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