Browsing Tag

Life

0 In life

Handling the Slow Change in Seasons

Spring …. where you at? We got a quick peek over the weekend and then the frigidness of JANUARY was right back Sunday. I feel like the weather is a pretty accurate representation of my life right now though. I’m impatiently waiting for it to get warmer.. to feel more comfortable. And while I spend most of my days trying to crawl back under the covers and hide from the dreariness, the sun always peeks through for a few, just enough to remind me that it’s still always there. 

The season is slowly but surely changing in my household. The boys are growing so much and it’s almost mind blowing sometimes to watch the change. They’re at the perfect age right now, they love each other just enough and the fighting is minimal. I have one entering toddlerhood and one exiting and that’s pretty freakin’ scary. The voice in the back of my head is constantly nagging me about whether I’m doing this motherhood thing right. I figure as long as we make it to the next day we’re pretty much scoring. LOL. 

And while we have some daily setbacks, our spring is right around the corner. It’s only a matter of time before the sun is constantly shining. I can’t wait. 

How are you handling the slow change of season? Are you waiting for the sun to come out? XoXo

0 In life

I’m Choosing Light

Happy Monday beauties!

Last week was a tough one for everyone.I just wanted to pop in really quick and check on everyone and let you guys know I’m doing well! I think this is the most silent the blogging community has been in a while but at the same time you can hear everyone’s voice loud and clear if that makes any sense at all. With all the craziness going on its easy to get swept up in the whirlwind that is the mainstream/social media and I think the little break I took over the weekend put a lot of things into perspective for me.

For me it all comes down to this. We all have a voice. We all may express ourselves differently, but I think everyone wants the same thing. I’m going into the week focusing on spreading as much positive love as possible because I believe in the darkest of times, everyone could use some light. 

How are you feeling this week? What are you looking forward to?

0 In life

My Son Was Born Black… And I’m Heartbroken

When I was pregnant I worried about a million different things. I worried about my baby’s health, if I was going to figure out motherhood, if we’d be happy, if I was capable of raising a well adjusted child when I didn’t feel like I had my own ish together. I worried and worried. And he was born. And I began to worry a little bit less.

 Minutes old. I love this picture. He's still a screamer. Lol

Minutes old. I love this picture. He’s still a screamer. Lol

But when you’re a mother the worry never truly goes away. He eats, you worry if he’s eating enough. He coughs, you worry about the flu and other illness. He falls, your heart stops every single time. 

 I can't find the date (of course) but I'm guessing this is from when he was around 6 months old  

I can’t find the date (of course) but I’m guessing this is from when he was around 6 months old  

All of these worries PALE in comparison to my new found worry. The guilt that I feel today especially for giving birth to my son knowing…. he would be black. My sweet innocent baby is going to have to come face to face with the injustice of our government and on the path we’re on its probably going to be sooner rather than later. 

I asked his father today, while #AltonSterling is fresh on everyone’s mind. “What are we going to do? How are we going to tell our innocent baby about the evils of this world?” He attempted to respond …

“We’ll just tell him the truth. When you go out govern yourself accordingly…..” 

*I cut him off* 

“He doesn’t have to be doing anything wrong… He could just be walking outside”… #TrayvonMartin…. “He could be playing in the park!” #TamirRice

His solution (not a real one LOL)… RJ is never going anywhere lol. When he goes to school he’s going to sleep outside in the car and he’s just never going to go anywhere alone. 

 

In all seriousness though I can’t help but feel a combination of guilt and heartbreak. What do I tell my son the job of the police is? I used to hear “they protect you from the bad guys”, but is a man standing outside of a corner store selling loose cigarettes really a BAD GUY? #EricGarner. Does forgetting to signal and then being frustrated about being disrespected and mistreated when you’re pulled over make you “bad”? #SandraBland

He’ll be dehumanized. They’ll talk about the pack of M&Ms he stole in the fifth grade and the fight he got into with one of his classmates, whether or not they know the full story. It’ll be his fault. The color of his skin automatically makes him a threat. Unapproachable and undeserving of the liberties we fought so hard to supposedly obtain. Thug. Criminal. Aggressive. He’ll be labeled. The saddest part? He doesn’t even have to be an adult anymore. He can be a CHILD. And his life won’t matter. 

 

This is the world I brought my angel into. My little boy who loves to dance, and play. Laugh and run and watch cartoons. Drink juice (nonstop!) and eat pizza. This will one day be his reality. And it breaks my heart. I can’t cry, hope and pray enough. Lord, protect my baby.

 #justiceforall

#BlackLivesMatter

 

0 In life

SIX Reasons You Actually May NOT Be About #thatbloglife

Sooooo you wanna be a blogger? I can understand why. All the cool kids have a blog. Everyone’s getting something from someone, some way or another for free.. And who doesn’t like free ish?!  

Or you’re already a blogger. But you’re questioning if you want to keep blogging. Is it worth it? Does anyone care? Heck, do I even care? Why isn’t MY blog as great as XYZs? What’s she doing that’s soooo great? WHO’S NOT LETTING ME BE GREAT?!?! 

 Lucky for y’all I have the answers. Cause I know all the things. I’m good like that. 

I’m about to lay it all out for you and tell you why you actually may not be about #thatbloglife. 

1. You don’t wear makeup EVERYDAY … ALLDAY (and/or your kids keep pajamas on most of the day) and your selfie game is weak.  Because no one wants to know what you do in your real, regular, everyday life. Social media perfection is in, get with it!

2You don’t have 100k million jillion followers on social media. Aka you have no voice. No ones listening. Give up.

3. You don’t write for any major publications. If none of your blog posts have made it to Huffpost yet, you’re doing blogging all wrong. The only way anyone who’s anyone will come across your blog is through them. Duh!

4. You write in your own voice. And who told you that was ok? I happen to enjoy my day browsing blogs that all sound the same, look the same, and talk about the same exact things. You don’t need to be original. Don’t try that. It’s kinda braggy/a**holish. 

5. You’re not a SAHM/Blogging isn’t your full time job. Because if you can’t  dedicate your whole life to these here internets then, what is your life anyway?! 

6. You took this post seriously. I pray to baby Jesus y’all took this post lightly and no one is ready to kill me by now (or that y’all didn’t stop reading out of rage and made it this far) lmao. I feel like we all have doubts when it comes to blogging but forreal, shake it off, suck it up and do it anyway. Nothing but passion, drive and consistency will lead to your success. Get it done girl! You got this!

0 In life

5 Youtube Families That Take the Ratchet Out of “Reality TV”

Ratchet TV used to be a guilty pleasure of mine but now, passed Love and Hip Hop I just can’t get with the constant drama. Reality TV seems to bring out the worst of the worst in people and it gets exhausting seeing minorities (and even non-minorities) showing their typical a** (thats what my grandma would say) on national TV! C’mon son! We gotta do better! 

I freakin’ LOVE YouTube! You can literally find anything on that jawn and I LOVE watching family vloggers! It’s nice to take a break from ratchet reality and see people living out their real lives, minus the drama, & just spreading the love! 

Gabe and Chad of GabeBabeTV

Probably one of the most positive couples on the Tube, Gabrielle and Chad (along with Chad Jr. and O-face) are two of the most inspiring people to watch. Love, life and laughter radiate throughout their daily vlogs and they make it a point to share the positive with their “peeps”. If ever you’re having a bad day this is the family to watch to cheer you up!

Jamie and Nikki of JamieandNiks 

If you’ve never wanted to visit Australia before, Jamie and Nikki will change that for you! Jamie’s video editing and time lapses alone makes the vlogs interesting but now they’re sharing their journey as new parents to their baby girl Ava. This couple is just as beautiful on the inside as they are on the outside and that probably contributed to their fast subscriber growth over the passed year or so. Oh, and can’t forget to mention the Prince of the vlogs, hey Loius! 

Tiffany and TJ of the Daily Davidsons

From the pink room to baby number 3 (& house number two!) these two have their Darlyns and Day1s screaming #GOALS in the comment section of EVERY vlog! don’t know about anyone else but I have a hard time finding positive, young, black couples and I think it makes them unique in a sense (a lot of the bigger YouTube vloggers are either interracial or Caucasian). Plus from the TJisms to their three adorable boys, their channel is ADDICTING. If you can’t resist cure kids don’t do it, but do it! 😉

Patricia and Mike of BritpopLifeVlogs (The Bright Side)

If you get addicted to vlogs like I do, then you’ll be sitting with your phone in hand waiting on an update from Patricia and Mike. All the previous vloggers mentioned have a consistent/daily vlog schedule and that’s something they don’t have. But when they do upload it’s always worth the wait! Plus, new baby Grace is such a sweetheart! I’ve loved watching their family grow and Patricia’s blunt honesty about every step of her journey into motherhood. They are always up front with their viewers about what they are and are not comfortable with sharing and I think since becoming parent’s they’ve become a lot more open with their viewers. 

Latoya and Adam of Latoya’s Life

So if you ever watched one of Latoya’s vlogs in passing and then you read this title then you probably did a double take like… huh? LOL. Latoya’s life definitely brings the drama but it’s been pretty calm over on her channel since “Pumps” has been born and even before then you couldn’t help but notice the love from her family radiating all over her channel! Family love always wins! 

Who are some of your favorite YouTube families? Do you watch any of the ones mentioned above? 

0 In Inspiration/ life

I Took Off My SuperMom Cape… & Got My Sanity Back!

First things first, did ya’ll know Merriam-Webster has an ACTUAL definition in their online dictionary for Supermom?! 

Full Definition of supermom

  1. :  an exemplary mother; also :  a woman who performs the traditional duties of housekeeping and child-rearing while also having a full-time job

MIND BLOWN! Wasn’t expecting to see that.

If you follow me on any of my social media (and if you don’t then… why not?!) then you’ve seen in my bio I am a self proclaimed Superhero. I pride myself on being the next Wonderwoman. Literally holding it down and doing it all from working, to mommy-ing, to blogging, cleaning, to just flat out killing it in this adulting game! I am a perfectionist at heart and I DO NOT take to failure. I DON’T QUIT.

BUT LIFE…. 

I honestly didn’t expect to feel the burnout but it happened…. quick! I slowly started to feel myself sinking under the weight of my own expectations & everything and everyone suffered. I went from loving everyday to just being happy everyone made it through the day alive, fed and that the baby was happy. I could NOT figure out how to get back to being (read: feeling) Supermom. I did NOT have my ish together. Soooooooo I sought out help. HOW CAN I DO IT ALL?!

And I thank baby Jesus for friends like Dani (even if she is only my virtual friend, in my head lmao).  I honestly didn’t realize how ridiculous I was being until I saw her response (behind all that sarcasm is pure amazingness I tell you!). NO ONE can do it all. The expectations I had for myself NO ONE ELSE had! My 1 year old could care less how many times I mop/clean/sanitize because he’s fed, clothed, and played with EVERYDAY and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse never goes off!. Everyday we get through is a blessing and all we can do is make sure we get through the next. Perfection doesn’t exist. You create the life you want and work towards your dreams. 

I’m not sinking under the pressure of my own crazy expectations anymore. I’ve found a balance that FOR NOW works. And I took all the Superhero stuff out of my bios. I’m not superhuman. But I’m an amazing me! 

0 In life

Weaning Woes Pt. 1 I Just Want My Body Back

 Look at the chub! That's probably 90% mommy milk right there!  

Look at the chub! That’s probably 90% mommy milk right there!  

My baby is a big boy. That’s no secret. Everyone comments on how big he is and how tiny I am. I used to love seeing people’s surprised looks when they asked what formula he drank and I could tell them he was breastfed. Yup! That’s ALL ME! *hits dougie*

But …. my baby is a big boy! He’s going on 16 months old and this kid has no desire to give up his milk. Even with eating 3 times a day and snacking we still fight most days to avoid breastfeeding. 

I loved it in the beginning. It was a need no one else could fulfill for him. But he doesn’t necessarily NEED it anymore. I know there are benefits to extended breastfeeding but I’m OVER it. There are also way more benefits to sane mommas… and that matters more. I am at the point where I dread feeding. I literally feel like he’s draining me. He’s already 1/4 of my weight and I’ve got 25 years on him. 

I’m ready to have my body back to myself. And how come no one ever told me about the twiddling?!? Nonstop! He acts like if he doesn’t live with his hand down my shirt.. my boobs may run away and he won’t ever get the milk again. It’s tiring. 

 All day. 

All day. 

I’ve read a hundred million weaning techniques but none of them cut it. I feel like I’m going to have to just cut him off. 

 Seriously I'm not joking. 

Seriously I’m not joking. 

 Lmao his face!  

Lmao his face!  

And let’s not even talk about the toll it’s taking on my wardrobe! The neck of every shirt I own is probably stretched to capacity. He will FIGHT! To get those chubby little fingers in there.  

I love this kid and I love the breastfeeding relationship we’ve had thus far but I’m done. We need a break. I want to be touched a little bit less lol. I just want my body back.  

How long did you breastfeed? What method of weaning worked for you? Is anyone else a slave to their toddler?! LOL   

0 In life

Step Up Your Thanksgiving Desserts! – Sweet Potato Marshallow Mini Cupcakes

Thanksgiving is my absolute favorite holiday! You guys know the saying about tiny people and how they eat the most?! Totally applies to me! I start my countdown to Thanksgiving as soon as September rolls around and I literally remind everyone every other day that it’s getting closer and closer! 

This year I wanted to try something different and because I LOVE dessert I wanted to find a new dessert recipe to try that still had the holiday feels…. Insert *drumroll*

  Photo courtesy of Foodnetwork.com

Photo courtesy of Foodnetwork.com

Does that not look freakin’ amazing? If you’ve ever made Candied Yams or Sweet Potato fluff then you’ll enjoy this and chances are if you were planning to make one of those then you have everything you need for this variation of a holiday favorite! Check out the ingredient list:

2 medium sweet potatoes (about 12 ounces)
Cooking spray
18 marshmallows
1 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon fine salt
Pinch cayenne pepper
1 stick (8 tablespoons) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1/2 cup packed light brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Click here for complete recipe… also courtesy of Foodnetwork.com 🙂

I’m a sucker for cupcakes (Who doesn’t love cake?) And I’m sure RJ is going to love the mini size… Perfect for his little chubby toddler fingers lol. I can’t wait for Thanksgiving to roll around and have these sitting on the dessert table! 

 What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food/dessert? Can’t think of anything of anything to make? Visit Foodnetwork.com for more Thanksgiving recipes and tips!  

0 In life

#dearyoungmom – The Introduction

#dearyoungmom is a weekly series featuring advice, tips, motivation and inspiration for young mothers. I am by no means an expert, just a fellow young mommy offering my advice through personal experience. The goal is to remind other young mothers that you are not alone!

When I first started blogging I didn’t really have a purpose. I just wanted to have people to talk to and because I’m so introverted blogging was a great way to make “friends”. Now when I blog I think about all the people that may or may not come into contact with my writing and I think more about blogging with purpose. 

Encouraging young moms is so important to me. I’d go as far as saying its a passion. Whenever I think about what I want to do, it’s always one of the first things I think about. I’m a firm believer if you can’t stop thinking about something you need to pursue it.

So this is my first #dearyoungmom post. The first of many. If you have a question… Ask me.   Need  someone to talk to? Connect with me.  I’m here for you. Because I needed someone there for me. And sometimes it’s hard to find people. But you’re not in this alone!  

0 In life

Fathers Day 2016

We’re traveling today so our first Father’s Day is going to be uneventful. It sucks cause I’m a sucker for holidays even if they are commercial. I love celebrating and I think if you are deserving then fatherhood is something that definitely should be celebrated. 

A salute to the end of the black male stereotype! Happy Fathers Day! 

18 In life

Mommy-Life: Wubbanub Love!

If you follow me on instagram then you know I gave in to the paci. I swore up and down when I was pregnant that I did not want RJ to use a pacifier. I swore up and down when he was first born that he would get nipple confusion and that he wouldn’t know the difference and I’d never be able to breastfeed or my nipples would fall off (drama queen much?).

ANYWHO, that all pretty much goes out the window when you have a screaming infant who isn’t hungry trying to permanently attach themselves to you. So PACI IT IS!

Y’all know the pacifier struggle! You put it in their mouth… kid spits it out… it rolls under the couch somewhere into the unknown abyss of all things kids drop… I don’t have time for that! So whoever invented the Wubbanub had me on their heart!

The Wubbanub is a cute little stuffed animal with a soothie type pacifier sewn onto it. It is machine washable (perfect for when ‘Frogger’ needed a spa day) which has me a little skeptical but we’ve only had to wash it once. Very very practical for moms who aren’t into those pacifier clips and they are super stinkin’ cute! The recommended age on the packaging is 0-6 months but RJ just turned 7 months and I’m not ready to fight that battle yet.

We always get compliments on how cute they are and he loves both versions that he has. They come in a HUGE variety of different animals. Get on it yall! Make those bebes happy!!! =)

*this is not a sponsored post…but i do include affiliate links..plus he just really loves that thing and I thought I’d share =)*