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baby

0 In explore - nyc

Meet Me at the 2018 New York Baby Show! | Giveaway

The 2018 New York Baby Show, on May 19 & 20 at Pier 94 will once again be the largest show for new and expectant parents in the country. I attended last year and learned so much when I was expecting Zayn so I’m excited to be going again (anything to make this mom of 2 life easier)! Now in its 8th year, no other event provides a better experience for thousands of expectant and new families from New York and neighboring counties, seeking a family-friendly jamboree of top brands, great speakers and seminars, big giveaways, and lots of learning, support, bonding, and fun as you make your way into parenthood. I’m giving away tickets below for you and your family to experience the show. 

Are you going to meet me at the biggest baby show in the country? Find out how you can get free tickets to attend here

So will I see you there? Leave a comment below and let me know!!

**Missed out on the giveaway? Don’t worry! Check out this link to receive a special 50% off discount exclusively for Life with Tanay readers**

 

0 In life

First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes Mysogynoir…

A few days ago Ciara FINALLY confirmed what we all knew already….

And while we all hit a resounding “awwwww…….” of course the haters came with wings spread WIDE. Everyone had something to say about Ciara getting pregnant by her HUSBAND.

She got pregnant too soon.

She announced it too soon.

She’s a HOE for getting pregnant by her husband.

Yea ya’ll a hoe. A whole hoe. Because nowadays, if you date someone, wait to have sex until marriage, get married and THEN have a baby with them….. you’re a hoe. The idea of being a happily married black woman expanding your family is unfathomable. Meanwhile Lil Wayne has 50/11 baby mamas and I don’t see whoredom being thrown around anywhere in the Weezy Circus. #ImJustSaying….

What was your reaction to Ciara’s pregnancy announcement? Or your reaction to the reactions? 

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#dearyoungmom – Confidence is Key!

First things first… *shameless plug alert* have you guys seen the article I was featured in on Care.com? Check it out and tell me what you think!

That interview actually inspired my post today because I’m going to admit it 100% I’ve had a little bit of writers block. Blogging is funny. It’s easy for me to come up with a million and one titles but then when it comes to the actual post/content……. *crickets*…. It’s like the words won’t flow to match the ideas.

Anyway.. I’m back with another #dearyoungmom post but this post isn’t specifically geared towards young moms. It’s applicable to everyone. My main thought today:

I’ve recently had an influx of people just mindlessly giving me their opinion that no one asked for. When you become a parent from the moment you announce the pregnancy to the time your child is 101 SOMEONE is going to have SOMETHING to say about how you’re doing ANYTHING.

It’s so important to be confident in yourself as a mom at any age. Mommy instinct is real! I had no idea what I was going to do when I found out I was pregnant. I questioned everything and my main thought was “what if I completely screw this up?!”. But from the moment he was placed in my arms I knew I’d do anything to get it right. And it’s a learning experience believe that! I’m not saying you’ll have immediate knowledge. But there’s nothing wrong with researching and asking questions and being confident with the decisions that YOU make for your little ones. No one knows them like mommy. Not even daddy ;).

Flaunt that confidence girl! And if all else fails remember the first kid is the practice kid haha!

Muah!!!

0 In life

The Ultimate Guide to Halloween Safety for Toddlers/Kids

Halloween is less than two weeks away and that is UNBELIEVABLE to me. I don’t think I mentioned it in my October Goals post but I can’t wait to take RJ out for Halloween. This is his 2nd Halloween but his first “big boy” one and I am super excited to put him in a costume, take him out and take a gazillion pictures of him. With all of that in mind, I have been thinking about ways to keep him safe this year (and years to come) with all the craziness that goes on during the holiday. I don’t want him to be trampled by big kids, or get lost, or anything really because well… NYC. I am a super super cautious parent (read: helicopter mom) and his safety is number one. So I sought out a couple of other mommas to help me compile this list of Halloween safety tips:

 Trick or Treating Safety:

  • Trick or Treat in an area that’s familiar. It will give you one less thing to feel uncomfortable about (i.e. Your neighborhood, a job, only families houses.)
  • Stay indoors with little ones ESPECIALLY if it’s cold outside. Lots of malls/shopping centers participate in the Halloween festivities.
  • Church. I know this isn’t an alternative for everyone but a lot of churches understand that our kids are well…… kids and have activities, candy and a “party” for them where kids can still dress up and have fun.
  • Trick or treat in groups/with other parents. The more eyes to watch the better.
  • WALK on the sidewalk and cross at the corners. Most drivers are mindful because of the amount of kids out, but better safe than sorry!
  • Only visit well lit houses. If the light isnt on, they probably aren’t expecting visitors.
  • Avoid animals you aren’t familiar with.
  • Never ever enter anyone’s home!

Costume Safety:

  • Stay warm! In NYC the weather can be 70 during the day and 40 at night on Halloween so layering is important!
  • Be seen! Wear bright colors during the day and/or utilize glow in the dark options at night (i.e. Glow sticks, mini flashlights,reflective tape)
  • Watch out for Jack-o-Lanterns! (I’ve never even thought of this previously to be honest). Kids costumes are highly flammable so be mindful of any lit jack-o-lanterns or candles.
  • If your child’s mask does not fit, wait until they are at the door to wear it. Wearing it all night obstructs vision and prevents proper ventilation. Face paint is a great hassle-free alternative.
  • Wear comfortable shoes!

Treat/Candy Safety:

  • Do not allow your child to eat any candy without checking it.
  • Unwrapped/tampered with candy and fruit is automatically dumped.
  • Avoid eating homemade treats from strangers.
  • No binge eating! Monitor your child’s candy intake once they are home and everything is inspected.

What is your ULTIMATE Halloween safety tip?  Here’s what a few other mommas had to say…

When my girls were small we would take them only to neighbors homes that we knew and to the mall. There was music and activities and they were able to get candy from store staff who were usually also dressed up. Being here in Maryland the weather can be hit or miss, so being indoors also kept them warm. (Kymberly, Well Fit Curves)

Watching like a hawk at all times. Not letting my two much farther thsn arms length away. (They’re only 3 and 1). Not letting anyone touch them or their hair or costume. Taking all the candy asap once we get home. Doling out only what I approve of in small amounts throughout the following weeks. There will be no candy binging. And teaching my older one not to run off with anyone, even if they know the neighbor.  (Danielle, OKDani)

My sister works at Progressive and that’s the only place we trick or treat…she knows mostly everyone, its a family environment and we go during the day. I still check the candy but in my mind I feel a lot better than going in the neighborhood. And sometimes we go to our church too. But no matter where I am I keep a close eye on my kids. And make sure no one is giving them candy without my knowledge. (Carissa, The Green Eyed Lady)

Staying with your parents is very important, traveling with other parents, wearing bright colors and lights if you are going trick or treating! A good thing that we have done before is celebrate at church, the alternative to Halloween, where children play games, socialize, and pray and all activities take place at church.  (Toiia, Mother of the World)

0 In life

I’m More Than Just My Son’s Mother

I feel like you judged me from the title alone. Oh well. This is real.

A few weeks ago someone said to me “Tanay you’re such a good mom.” and I was all “Really? Me? You think so?”… The response was “Yea.. you’re always with RJ I don’t really see you going out and partying all the time you just stay with him”. At the time I was like “Yea girl thanks!”… But it’s replayed in my head a couple annoying times and it’s made me feel “some typa way.”

I love my son more than I could ever imagine loving another person. It’s a mom thing. Everyone tells you it’s going to happen but you don’t understand it in it’s true capacity until it actually does. This little boy fills my heart to the tipping point. What I don’t love? Being JUST his mom. It’s almost as if my identity disappeared the moment I became “RJs mom”. And don’t get me wrong I love all aspects of being his mommy and all the things I haven’t experienced yet (I actually tell people all the time I can’t wait until he’s in school and his friends run up to me and yell “HI RJS MOM”) but who else am I? 

To me it doesn’t make sense to look back to the person I was before I became his mother. She’s gone. Being a mom changes you completely and that’s ok. But should it engulf you? I don’t think so. I don’t want to be “RJs Mom” to my peers. I’m still Tanay. I’m 25. I like to do things other than watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Jake and the Neverland Pirates. I don’t have to go out ALL the time but me staying home all the time doesn’t induct me into the good mom club. It just further reminds me that I need to take a moment…… or three. I can step away for a minute or two from being RJs mom and be Tanay. Do things that make me happy. His sweet smell and cute smile will always be there when I come home.

What are some things you enjoy doing outside of motherhood? How often do you take time to step away and reconnect with yourself?

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Mommy Survival 101: How to Survive the First Year Without a Trip to the Asylum! ;)

RJ will be one in 2 months and I can’t believe I don’t have a baby anymore. He’s becoming so much more independent. He no longer needs mommy all the time and I miss it! I’m dreading when he really IS a big boy and he no longer wants to cuddle or needs me for food and all the little things he needs now. And JUST when I had the infancy thing down, he goes all toddler on me. *eye roll*

The first year of mommyhood has been NO JOKE. I’ve laughed, I’ve been close to tears, I’ve prayed, and I’ve plotted murder LOL (kidding =D). But I’m definitely giving myself a pat on the back because I survived it! I know I have 2 months left but I’m claiming the victory already! Year one down…. 50 or so more to go! LOL.

All that aside, I went into this thing with PLANS. I just KNEW what I was and wasn’t going to do or say or be. And I’ve learned and grown the whole time so I’m sharing with you the secrets to survival. Here goes…..

Perfect the “Smile and Nod.” This is for the sake of your sanity when it comes to dealing with the extras. If you didn’t already know, it’s a scientifically proven fact that once you announce your pregnancy, they pass out PhDs to all your closest family and friends. EVERYONE knows the “right way” to do some thing or another and if you don’t master brushing it off and smiling politely, your brain will melt into a puddle of unwanted advice. 

Go with the flow! When I was pregnant I just knew what I was or wasn’t going to do. For example I swore up and down that my baby was not going to eat any jarred baby food when he started solids. I think I’ve pureed ONE vegetable and Gerber has been our BFF. Plans change, things don’t always work out how you initially plan them to and that’s OK. You wanted to breastfeed but you change your mind to formula? You bought 50 boxes of disposable diapers but cloth diapering is working better? It’s all OK. Healthy and happy baby is really all that matters in the end. 

Your mommy instincts WILL kick in. This was one of my biggest fears when I was pregnant. I was like who the heck in their right mind is giving me a baby? I don’t know JACK about being a mom! What if I suck? What if I royally mess this up? But parenting is SO instinctive. You’d be surprised what actually comes naturally. And what doesn’t come naturally you learn! And you learn that mess faster than you’ve ever learned anything because everyone’s sanity depends on it. 

Don’t rush the next stage. Every single milestone is so exciting that as a parent you can’t help but say “I can’t wait until you do …” or “It’s going to be so fun when we can…” and you get so caught up in waiting to see what stage is coming next that you don’t appreciate the present. I couldn’t WAIT for RJ to crawl and now that he’s starting to climb everything I’m like dang…. I miss when you weren’t so mobile LOL.

Take the help! Coming from a super stubborn/independent chick, you’re going to need the help. Take that pride, tuck it in your pocket and save it for the time you want to showcase something really really amazing. Because guess what, no one is going to applaud you for trying to do it all. As mommy you have now taken on the most under appreciated (but most rewarding) job in the world. So if you’re offered help take it because that pat on the back you’re going to be waiting for…… yea…………. come back and let me know when you get it.  4

What are some tips you would give for the first year of mommy life? What helped you survive? I’d love to read your comments!