You never really know what kind of parent you’re going to be. I worried from the very beginning about the type of mom I would be. Would I be too easy going? Would my kids listen? Am I capable of providing my children with a life that wouldn’t require therapy some 15-20 years down the line? Parenting is a constant merry go round of one worry or the other and no one can quite prep you for just how it feels. But the one thing I didn’t expect to worry about as much as I do? Leaving them.
It’s not like separation anxiety is a new topic in the parenting community. If you google it you can find tons of articles and sites dedicated to how to deal with separation anxiety through all ages of infancy and adolescence. But what happens when the shoe is on the other foot? I know I can’t be the only mom out there whose heart beats a little faster when it’s time for me to leave my kids. My anxiety is not that bad, I’m not talk about a regular day to do basis in which I leave and go to work. However, I have been blessed with many opportunities to travel recently and it never fails, a few days before it’s time to go the voices in my head go crazy and the dread creeps in.
We have been blessed with the ability to live in one of the busiest cities in the U.S.. For the most part, I love living in NYC. There truly is always something to do if you’re looking. We really take the name of the city that never sleeps to heart. That being said, I probably haven’t done like 85% of the things that one would expect when you live in a city this big. I’ve never been to a broadway show, I can’t remember if I’ve been to the statue of liberty, & I’ve only been in Times Square after midnight because I used to work in one of the stores there. I feel like I was a pretty sheltered child. I didn’t REALLY start to experience the magic of the city until I was old enough to venture there alone. I’m pretty sure thats common growing up here.
I was taking the subway alone by the time I was 12, maybe younger. My brother and I would take the train and the bus, from our house to my grandmas house on the weekends. Back then I don’t think it was that abnormal to see young children on the train alone. At 12 I was probably the size of a 9/10 year old, but I still remember taking that trip when the time came. It was no big deal. It’s never felt like a big deal especially living here, until I had children of my own. Continue Reading →
Are you the parent that wants to celebrate every single holiday? I seriously love holidays, and even though I don’t care much for receiving gifts, I love giving people things that make them smile! Now that RJ is getting a little older he’s into getting creative! This past Christmas was the first time he was excited about making cookies for Santa and the reindeer! SO of course now, I want to do all the holidays!
I think people have a love/hate relationship with Peeps. Is it just me or do all the colors taste different even though they’re pretty much the same exact thing? I used to be able to bust some Peeps DOWN when I was younger but now I can handle like one or two before I can’t do it anymore, too marshmallowy! This super cute idea for Peeps Bunny Cupcakes is kid friendly even for preschoolers! Super easy and you don’t have to be a master baker (of which I am not!) to make this cute Easter Treat! I use box cupcakes (though my mom could probably bake up something amazing for this!) and can frosting because my kids don’t care about the specifics THAT MUCH. Continue Reading →
It was JUST Christmas and now here we are, planning the next holiday. I love giving gifts, and I love the excitement of any holiday. Call me a sucker but I’ll celebrate ALL the days in the name of making my children smile.
What we NOT finna do though is have tons of candy in my house. It’s a fight to get RJ to brush his teeth regularly. So any holiday that involves candy (and of course he only likes the chewy sticky kind) we have to find alternatives. Not to mention they have enough energy on their own, they don’t need the assistance of sugar. Since Easter is a little over a month away, I wanted to share some ideas with you for things you can fill your little boys Easter basket with that won’t have them making more dentist visits than required. Continue Reading →
We live in the age of overshare. Everyone wants you to know what they’re doing, how and why they’re doing it and then convince you that you need to do it too. Along with that comes the trolls, the opinions no one asked for and the people who just have too much time on their hands. Parenting is one of the topics that come across my feeds often. Being someone who writes in the parenting niche my feeds are full of moms, bloggers and not. Unfortunately, that comes with seeing way too many sad stories involving children. My heart breaks a little bit every single day with some of the stories that I come across.
Daycare abuse, boyfriends killing their girlfriends children and bullying are all too common news titles today. But the stories that always break my heart: child suicide. And one that especially triggered me a couple weeks ago, was concerning a young girl who hanged herself, at 9 after an argument with her mom. As a parent I can only imagine what it’s like to find you child took their own life. I can also imagine the million and one thoughts that went through that moms head as she replayed the last moments she spent with her daughter. Continue Reading →
From the moment I became pregnant with my first child I knew I wanted to be a breastfeeding mama. I always wanted to do what I felt was the best for my child and breastfeeding was at the top of that list. I’m a reader y’all. So when the time came, I was reading all the articles and researching all the things. If I was about to take this on I knew I had to approach it in a factual matter. Breastfeeding turned out to be one of the hardest parts of new mom life I took on. BOTH TIMES.
But from the outside looking in, your probably wouldn’t have been able to tell. I never complained when RJs latch was so bad it split my nipple open. You never would have known that I got thrush on both nipples with Zayn and whenever it was time to latch it looked like we were waiting to jump in the rope for double dutch. You know the move. Back and forth. Back and forth. Pacing yourself until its finally the right moment to JUST JUMP IN. I cried whenever he finally did latch. I’m not going to sugarcoat it for y’all and say it was easy because it was HARD. But I took it all in stride because the benefits, the bond, the moments I were not in pain were some of the most amazing moments I’ve shared with my sons to date.
So when it was time to wean I knew it wasn’t going to be easy.
What I didn’t know, was who it was going to be the hardest for. Trust me both times, as soon as the boys turned 1 I started to get flooded with the “when are you going to wean him?”questions. My body, that I was already sharing with another person (and had been for almost two years) suddenly became everybody else’s business. Everybody for whatever reason seemed to be so pressed on me stopping, even though there are proven benefits to extended breastfeeding. Still I persevered. And believe me when I say, there were times when I questioned my decision and just wanted my body back. I wondered if I was still benefitting them or just doing it because I didn’t want to deal with the middle of the night screaming that would surely come with night weaning.
But like every other part of motherhood, the decision to wean came easiest when I was making it for myself.
And heads are probably rolling in the breastfeeding community with the title of this post alone. Cold turkey weaning for a breastfed child is looked at as the equivalent to a torture chamber. But it worked for my boys. It worked for me. Everyone is happy. I stopped breastfeeding cold turkey and I don’t feel guilty about it at all.
Time management has never been my thing. And then I realized I had to make it my thing. Being a mom of two, having a full time job and trying to make something out of this little blog of mine is WORK. Add that in with trying to binge watch shows on Netflix, have the bare minimum of a social life to not be considered a hermit and have a whole relationship? Chile! If I didn’t make time management a priority before its not even optional now. It HAS to make sense.
The main thing I learned when I was figuring out this time management thing is that you have to prioritize your time. Whether that’s through time blocking, meticulous planning or just being REALLY on top of your ish, you have to find a system that works for you.
You probably read the title and was like girl, what?! Listen, I’ve learned from the internet it’s not just me. January literally feels like the longest month ever. We wait all this time for the new year to roll around and then the first month of the new year feels like a whole year in itself. Despite all of that, January was good to me. All 82508432 days of it. I learned some important things and I got some really great takeaways. As someone with few resolutions, self improvement is really the most important aspect of growth for me and I’m happy the first year of 2019 showed up.
Last week I went to the hair salon after work. Let me preface it by saying it was DESPERATELY needed. The natural hair struggle is real, and topped with NYC’s winter weather? My hair was feeling like STRAW. So I was definitely overdue for an appointment and I knew I needed to just go and get it done. I have scheduled hair appointments over and over again but then cancelled for one reason or another because truthfully, I feel like it takes too long and I would rather be home with my kids. But I’m trying to develop better habits this year so in my head I was all “TREAT YOURSELF TANAY! SELF CARE!”.
An article was released recently on TimeOut of the “The Best Instagram Accounts from Dad and Mommy bloggers to follow in 2019”. It was shared in a group of other bloggers that I’m in and before I even clicked it I already knew what the list was going to look like. We can make excuses and say “well they only featured 8 accounts” or “they couldn’t show everybody” and that’s fine if that’s what y’all have time for, but I don’t. In this great year of our lord and savior 2019, we have to stop asking for a seat at the table and buy, assemble and elevate our own! TimeOut’s list was cute, but that’s not my list. That’s not representative of the faces I see when I scroll my feed, and the women/men that motivate me.
We’re out here world schooling, and attachment parenting and living our best green lives just like everyone else. If anything we look up to each other even more now because our generation is parenting SO DIFFERENTLY than the ones that came before us. We’re open to learning and doing and growing. We’re just out here trying to keep out chakras aligned, glow up, create healthy coparenting relationships and manifest the best lives possible for our children.
Happy New Year! I almost can’t believe I’m sitting here with you guys in 2019! The year flew by and it was definitely, a year! Last year I made a whole list of goals, that I provably revisited once or twice when I wasn’t resharing it with you guys and that… kinda sucks. This year I am focusing on creating better habits, versus sticking to specific resolutions and I figured I’d share a couple of mine that are related to motherhood. Here are a couple things we need to remember to do for ourselves and our families this year. Continue Reading →