I'm More Than Just My Son's Mother

I feel like you judged me from the title alone. Oh well. This is real.

A few weeks ago someone said to me “Tanay you’re such a good mom.” and I was all “Really? Me? You think so?”… The response was “Yea.. you’re always with RJ I don’t really see you going out and partying all the time you just stay with him”. At the time I was like “Yea girl thanks!”… But it’s replayed in my head a couple annoying times and it’s made me feel “some typa way.”

I love my son more than I could ever imagine loving another person. It’s a mom thing. Everyone tells you it’s going to happen but you don’t understand it in it’s true capacity until it actually does. This little boy fills my heart to the tipping point. What I don’t love? Being JUST his mom. It’s almost as if my identity disappeared the moment I became “RJs mom”. And don’t get me wrong I love all aspects of being his mommy and all the things I haven’t experienced yet (I actually tell people all the time I can’t wait until he’s in school and his friends run up to me and yell “HI RJS MOM”) but who else am I?

To me it doesn’t make sense to look back to the person I was before I became his mother. She’s gone. Being a mom changes you completely and that’s ok. But should it engulf you? I don’t think so. I don’t want to be “RJs Mom” to my peers. I’m still Tanay. I’m 25. I like to do things other than watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Jake and the Neverland Pirates. I don’t have to go out ALL the time but me staying home all the time doesn’t induct me into the good mom club. It just further reminds me that I need to take a moment…… or three. I can step away for a minute or two from being RJs mom and be Tanay. Do things that make me happy. His sweet smell and cute smile will always be there when I come home.