We have been blessed with the ability to live in one of the busiest cities in the U.S.. For the most part, I love living in NYC. There truly is always something to do if you’re looking. We really take the name of the city that never sleeps to heart. That being said, I probably haven’t done like 85% of the things that one would expect when you live in a city this big. I’ve never been to a broadway show, I can’t remember if I’ve been to the statue of liberty, & I’ve only been in Times Square after midnight because I used to work in one of the stores there. I feel like I was a pretty sheltered child. I didn’t REALLY start to experience the magic of the city until I was old enough to venture there alone. I’m pretty sure thats common growing up here.

I was taking the subway alone by the time I was 12, maybe younger. My brother and I would take the train and the bus, from our house to my grandmas house on the weekends. Back then I don’t think it was that abnormal to see young children on the train alone. At 12 I was probably the size of a 9/10 year old, but I still remember taking that trip when the time came. It was no big deal. It’s never felt like a big deal especially living here, until I had children of my own.

My children, the rough and tough NYC babies that they are, have never been on the train.

Granted, Zayn is only 1 1/2, but RJ is approaching 5 and hasn’t stepped foot on a subway platform. Interestingly enough they’re both fascinated with the subway and trains, despite having never been on one. We have been to plenty of places that warranted a train ride, and that most people would use public transportation to get to. Still nope, all the nopes. We actually go to Manhattan, the busiest city with the worst parking almost every weekend. It is always by car.

Something (everything) about motherhood has caused my anxiety to reach higher heights.

I remember once when my brother and I took the train with my mother, my brother was looking out the window. His foot brushed against this lady’s pants, and all hell broke loose. My mom and that lady almost got into a fight on the train because of his foot touching her raggedy pants leg. I know my children, and I know where their excitement level is going to be through the roof. Just off the strength of trying something new. Ain’t nobody got time for that. I just think about the amount of people, the general annoyed mood of people on public transportation and my oldest childs carefree and happy spirit. I don’t want the experience to be a bad one, for any of us.

Part of me knows I shouldn’t OVER shelter them, but the mama bear part of me just wants to maintain the innocence. Honestly, now that they are both older than stroller age, we’ll most likely start venturing into the city by train since it’s getting warmer. But I still have anxiety about it.