And I know I’ll probably be banished to some lonely corner of the Twitterverse where I’ll be slowly rocking back and forth and holding myself alone but, I could care less at this point. I meant it last night when it first came to mind and I mean it now as I’m typing this post. I hate parent twitter. Not to be confused with just parents on twitter. I’m talking about the very specific group of tweeters, you know who they are.
And there are are so many different corners of the Twitterwebs so I’m sure I’ll find another group to partake in (#BlackTwitter never fails me), but I felt like the mom life corner was supposed to be my thing. Nah, it ain’t. If you search any type of parenting hashtag on twitter you’ll be sure to find all of these witty tweets. Parents tweeting about their numbered children and the snarky or clever thing they’ve said that millisecond, all in the name of RTs and favorites. Can we be honest? You nor your kid are that funny ALL day. Someone else definitely has copied a meme I’ve seen on Facebook and used it as their own tweet, only to get 749201 comments about how funny or clever they are like plagiarism isn’t taught in elementary school anymore. WHY ARE YALL LIKE THIS?!
Last night while I showered and washed my hair my 1 year old stood outside the door screeching at the top of his lungs the entirety of said shower. My emotions teetered between guilt and annoyanc and I thought about reaching out to the parent posse to see who could relate. Instead I changed my mind because, it wasn’t funny, or sarcastic or witty and I felt pretty confident that though I knew someone would be able to relate… my tweet would just sink into the abyss of things forgotten. No one interacts for realness!! Where are the parents that are living REAL life and want to interact?! Those are the people I’m looking for.
Meanwhile you can miss me with the clever anecdotes about 4 pretending to sip your peppermint mocha this morning. I haven’t even had the chance to brush my teeth yet. But y’all are gonna get ALL this venting.