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Mommy life

    I’m More Than Just My Son’s Mother

    I feel like you judged me from the title alone. Oh well. This is real.

    A few weeks ago someone said to me “Tanay you’re such a good mom.” and I was all “Really? Me? You think so?”… The response was “Yea.. you’re always with RJ I don’t really see you going out and partying all the time you just stay with him”. At the time I was like “Yea girl thanks!”… But it’s replayed in my head a couple annoying times and it’s made me feel “some typa way.”

    I love my son more than I could ever imagine loving another person. It’s a mom thing. Everyone tells you it’s going to happen but you don’t understand it in it’s true capacity until it actually does. This little boy fills my heart to the tipping point. What I don’t love? Being JUST his mom. It’s almost as if my identity disappeared the moment I became “RJs mom”. And don’t get me wrong I love all aspects of being his mommy and all the things I haven’t experienced yet (I actually tell people all the time I can’t wait until he’s in school and his friends run up to me and yell “HI RJS MOM”) but who else am I? 

    To me it doesn’t make sense to look back to the person I was before I became his mother. She’s gone. Being a mom changes you completely and that’s ok. But should it engulf you? I don’t think so. I don’t want to be “RJs Mom” to my peers. I’m still Tanay. I’m 25. I like to do things other than watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Jake and the Neverland Pirates. I don’t have to go out ALL the time but me staying home all the time doesn’t induct me into the good mom club. It just further reminds me that I need to take a moment…… or three. I can step away for a minute or two from being RJs mom and be Tanay. Do things that make me happy. His sweet smell and cute smile will always be there when I come home.

    What are some things you enjoy doing outside of motherhood? How often do you take time to step away and reconnect with yourself?

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    Mommy Survival 101: How to Survive the First Year Without a Trip to the Asylum! ;)

    RJ will be one in 2 months and I can’t believe I don’t have a baby anymore. He’s becoming so much more independent. He no longer needs mommy all the time and I miss it! I’m dreading when he really IS a big boy and he no longer wants to cuddle or needs me for food and all the little things he needs now. And JUST when I had the infancy thing down, he goes all toddler on me. *eye roll*

    The first year of mommyhood has been NO JOKE. I’ve laughed, I’ve been close to tears, I’ve prayed, and I’ve plotted murder LOL (kidding =D). But I’m definitely giving myself a pat on the back because I survived it! I know I have 2 months left but I’m claiming the victory already! Year one down…. 50 or so more to go! LOL.

    All that aside, I went into this thing with PLANS. I just KNEW what I was and wasn’t going to do or say or be. And I’ve learned and grown the whole time so I’m sharing with you the secrets to survival. Here goes…..

    Perfect the “Smile and Nod.” This is for the sake of your sanity when it comes to dealing with the extras. If you didn’t already know, it’s a scientifically proven fact that once you announce your pregnancy, they pass out PhDs to all your closest family and friends. EVERYONE knows the “right way” to do some thing or another and if you don’t master brushing it off and smiling politely, your brain will melt into a puddle of unwanted advice. 

    Go with the flow! When I was pregnant I just knew what I was or wasn’t going to do. For example I swore up and down that my baby was not going to eat any jarred baby food when he started solids. I think I’ve pureed ONE vegetable and Gerber has been our BFF. Plans change, things don’t always work out how you initially plan them to and that’s OK. You wanted to breastfeed but you change your mind to formula? You bought 50 boxes of disposable diapers but cloth diapering is working better? It’s all OK. Healthy and happy baby is really all that matters in the end. 

    Your mommy instincts WILL kick in. This was one of my biggest fears when I was pregnant. I was like who the heck in their right mind is giving me a baby? I don’t know JACK about being a mom! What if I suck? What if I royally mess this up? But parenting is SO instinctive. You’d be surprised what actually comes naturally. And what doesn’t come naturally you learn! And you learn that mess faster than you’ve ever learned anything because everyone’s sanity depends on it. 

    Don’t rush the next stage. Every single milestone is so exciting that as a parent you can’t help but say “I can’t wait until you do …” or “It’s going to be so fun when we can…” and you get so caught up in waiting to see what stage is coming next that you don’t appreciate the present. I couldn’t WAIT for RJ to crawl and now that he’s starting to climb everything I’m like dang…. I miss when you weren’t so mobile LOL.

    Take the help! Coming from a super stubborn/independent chick, you’re going to need the help. Take that pride, tuck it in your pocket and save it for the time you want to showcase something really really amazing. Because guess what, no one is going to applaud you for trying to do it all. As mommy you have now taken on the most under appreciated (but most rewarding) job in the world. So if you’re offered help take it because that pat on the back you’re going to be waiting for…… yea…………. come back and let me know when you get it.  4

    What are some tips you would give for the first year of mommy life? What helped you survive? I’d love to read your comments!

     

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    RJs Christening

    We christened RJ at church earlier this month and it was super important to me. I prayed so much during my pregnancy, probably the most I’ve ever prayed and I knew once my son was born he was going to be christened in our church. RJ has ALOT of Godparents, he is amazingly blessed. It also happened to be Family and Friends day at our church AND our 5 year anniversary so we had an amazing day and alot of our family and friends came to celebrate with us.

    Sorry if the picture quality sucks. These are cell phone pics! =(

    Do you have any religious or family traditions? Share in the comments!

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    Top 5 Tips on Baby-Proofing for your Crawler/Cruiser

    RJ is at the super exciting age where he gets into EH-VER-EEEEE-THANG! I am on the go nonstop trying to keep up with his little butt and make sure that he isn’t getting into anything that will hurt him or me or my sanity LOL. He isn’t quite walking yet but he can crawl between rooms in about 5 seconds and he cruises along the furniture like hes on a mission! I never imagined myself writing a post on baby-proofing but in an effort to help other mamas out I’m going to share what has been working for me at this stage.

    1. Cover all outlets and keep cords out of sight! And I literally mean every outlet. Outlets are at perfect eye level for crawlers and there’s nothing more exciting to a baby than the unknown. I didn’t think my son would even acknowledge the outlets but he knows where pretty much every outlet is and his little fingers, toys, tongue are always exploring. If possible keep all cords out of sight as well. Charge your phone on a table or counter top and out of reach for the little grabbers.

    2. Lock the cabinets. Because exploring is the theme of this post. Babies are nosier than grandmas (you KNOW your grandma lives in her window, MINE DEFINITELY DOES). I’ve caught him countless times trying to open cabinet doors. Thankfully I haven’t left him long enough to destroy a room but if left with the opportunity, my kitchen would be in disarray from him pulling everything out of the cabinet.

    3. Cover all sharp corners. This is mostly for the cruisers. Learning to walk is fun for babies but I swear RJ forgets that he doesn’t have it down pact yet. He frequently just lets go and then hes flailing around when he remembers that he doesn’t know what the heck he’s doing. Covering the corners may be more for your own sanity because I swear (even though he can’t reach up there yet) that he’s going to hit his head or face on the corner of a counter or table or something. This tip is great for moms with coffee tables or end tables.

    4. Don’t leave anything on the floor. Before baby, we used to leave any change that fell on the floor there (because “money on the floor brings more through the door”). Old sayings aside, did I tell you that RJ is quick? And those little hands are faster! At his age everything goes to the mouth so that leaves NO room for error. Shoes included, put them somewhere out of reach for the little.

    5. Sweep/vacuum frequently. And this final one is definitely for your own sanity. With babies being curious they see every doggone speck! I can’t tell you the number of times my heart almost fell out my butt once I saw that hand-to-mouth motion and I thought RJ was putting something dangerous he found on the floor into his mouth and it turned out to be dirt or a piece of hair or something that’s just as equally gross but not life-threatening. I try (and sometimes fail) to sweep everyday because our house traffic is pretty high, and our floors are light colored so it’s easy for him to find little dirt pieces and my heart just cant take it.

    What are some ways you babyproof your house? Looking for products to help babyproof? Check out my must-haves.

    *This post is not sponsored, but does contain an affiliate link*

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    Mommy-Life: The Baby Blues

    We’ve all been there. If you are a mom then you’ve experienced some form of what they call the “baby blues”. According to Mayo Clinic, there are more than 3 million cases of postpartum depression reported yearly in the U.S. alone! I didn’t think it’d happen to me at all. The honeymoon phase of mommy hood lasted a good 5 months for me. I didn’t understand how anyone could dislike being a mommy. Something had to be wrong with these women. 

    *cue sleep regression*.. And I suddenly wonder what the hell I was thinking when I thought I was fit enough to become a parent. My child is screaming at the top of his lungs at midnight for the 3rd night in a row and I’m .5 seconds from busting out into tears with him… alone… because his father works overnight. 

    And now I’m wondering if I’m a bad mom cause I just for the love of everything that is holy want him to shut up! And that’s not right is it? He’s so little. He can’t help it. 

    Being a mom makes you superhuman but you are still HUMAN. As mommies we become so wrapped up in our child’s love that we forget to take a step back and decompress. And we need it.. God knows I need it! We spend all day meeting the needs of our household and it’s super important not to forget to take a good step back and think about yourself. Take a moment to do something to make you happy. I am THRILLED when I get to take an uninterrupted, un-rushed shower! LOl big dreams right? But it counts! And frustration doesn’t make you any less of a rockstar! It makes you all the more normal! Keep rocking it out mommas! 

    *If you think you or someone you know is suffering from severe postpartum depression please seek the medical help of a doctor or other professional.*

    photo credit:Growing Better Baby Crying Life Kids Being Kids via photopin (license)

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