Every morning (or night if you will) my alarm goes off at 230am. I snooze like 5 times, and then I try to detach Zayn without waking him up, sneak out of the room and get dressed in the living room so that I can be at work at 3 effing 30. In the morning. Since James works overnight also, that means I have two kids I then have to (sometimes) dress and move in the middle of the night to their respective locations so that they aren’t left unsupervised. Thank God for family!
Zayn’s first winter was ROUGH. I found myself calling out of work pretty often to stay home because one or both kids were sick and ain’t nobody trying to take care of a sick child that isn’t theirs in the middle of the night. Love em or not! Returning to work is always led with “Hey what happened?” and then upon explaining my situation (sick kids, 3am, no childcare…) I always get the “empathetic “well, you have to do what’s best for your family”.
And I’m going to be completely honest with y’all and say when it comes to work vs family, I’m tired of choosing my kids. Because…. I feel like it shouldn’t even be a “thing”. I’m honestly annoyed by the guilt I feel of letting someone else down every time I have to stay home to be with them. I just want to parent guilt-free. Back in December Zayn (at 5 months old) was hospitalized for Croup and I actually had someone look at me with confusion and say, “you could’ve left him there and just came to work it’s not like he could go anywhere.” Miss……. what?!?!
I completely get that for some people the money is the motive but no one tries to make you feel guilty when you miss your kids 4th school performance for your lil $15 an hour, so why do I get so much crap for choosing the opposite end? I’m over it. I’m completely tired of the fact that I even HAVE to make choosing my kids a big deal but I’d never choose anything else. I don’t get paid enough for all that.
What’s your work/life balance like? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
Thank you so much to Mazda for allowing us to drive the 2018 Mazda CX-9 free of charge in exchange for an honest review. As always, all opinions expressed belong to me.
You’re not really a mom if someone doesn’t confirm it once they get into your car. Such was the case when I had a chance to review the Mazda CX-9 during the holidays. First of all, if you’ve been around for any amount of time then you’d know I have a LOVE for SUVs. The first 3 row SUV I drove was the Kia Sorento and I continue to love that car TO THIS DAY!
So when I was given the chance by Mazda to review the CX-9, and I realized it was their 3 row SUV I couldn’t contain the excitement. A few days into having the car, on a trip to the store my friend was like “Wow this car is nice. It’s REALLY a mom car.” It could’ve been the view (below) that she saw once she was inside because the car had AMPLE space to store all our Christmas takeaways, but if the CX-9 is #Momcar goals then I’ll take it. *shrugs*
This car has to be what Mom dreams are made of. Gone are the days of the huge minivan, hello BOSE surround system, heated leather premium nappa leather (in the second row too!), and a completely driver focused experience. SKY-ACTIV and I-ACTIV technology provide some of the best safety features in vehicles of this class and put my obsessive mom worries to ease while driving.
With most 3 row SUVs the downfall of having the third row is that you lose cargo space. That is definitely not the case with the CX-9. While we’re a family of 4, my extended family is HUGE and we made alot of stops over the holidays, we never were lacking trunk space for all the gifts we gave/received. Even with the third row up, the trunk was spacious and has the perfect amount of cargo space for….. Target hauls? 🙂
I definitely leveled up my mom status while driving this car and it comes really close to my love for the Sorento. If this is a perk of being a “real mom” then, ill take it! What kind of car do you drive? Are you looking to “level up” any time soon?
The 2018 Mazda CX-9 Grand Touring AWD starts at $40,470. For more information/spec check out Mazda’s official site here.
I see you.
I see you wanting to crawl into yourself and hide as a stranger makes small talk with you about how cute and happy your kid is. I know you hate it. But the very sight of your child bounding around in public is enough to make any stranger smile, stop and ask questions, and leave you hanging there in enough seconds of awkward silence to make you want to click your heels together three times and disappear. I know its hard.
Introverts don’t do small talk!
I hear you.
Not literally of course. But your silence speaks volumes. Your little is loud enough for the both of you anyway. And I know you’re spending a good portion of your day wondering if your little person needs to make noise and be in contact with people ALL DAY. As exciting as it is for them it’s draining for you.
You enjoy being alone.
I get it.
That after a long day of running, and screaming, and crying you just. need. time. And the little person you take care of is saying mommy for the 200th time….. that hour. You’re not sure if you’re going to make it. Patience is almost gone, and then the guilt comes. Because as much as you need time to get yourself together you feel bad that you can’t be more excited for them. It feels impossible.
You need time to recharge.
I feel you. I am you. We got this.
Parenting has never been a one size fits all thing no matter what generation you were born and raised in but I’m beginning to notice some patterns with millennial moms that weren’t so common with generations before us.
Self-care is essential.
I’ll give it to them. Gen X (and before) parents and grandparents were devoted! Not saying we aren’t devoted as parents but I feel like the stress on taking care of yourself to be the best parent you can be is so much greater than before. I seriously have learned (and am still learning) that you have to live for yourself in order to be the best for your family. I’m not talking about going to the club every weekend and leaving your kids home alone. But even small things like stepping away and taking a break for a few minutes has helped me to keep it together throughout the day. Do what makes you happy because a happy parent raises happy children.
A mess is a learning experience.
And for real, its not that serious. My grandmother spends a considerable amount of time trying to get RJ to play with only one toy at a time. I have no idea why. And I’m almost positive thats how we played too. I can’t lie when RJ first became REALLY interested in his toys I hated watching him dump them out everywhere. It literally made me cringe. But I honestly sit and watch his imagination thrive in the midst of his toy piles. Learning through play is real! & it only takes a few minutes to clean up at night.
Their feelings matter, just as much as their manners.
I feel like I grew up in a generation of forced politeness. Doing what was asked of me wasn’t an option no matter how it made me feel. I try to always remind RJ that his feelings are NORMAL (even in the midst of his meltdowns) but he still has to behave a certain way. And even when he’s being his horrible toddler self and shading me by not saying thank you for the snack he asked for 100 times, I know he listens. It’s evident when he’s in contact with other adults and they tell me how well-mannered he is (usually after they comment on his endless energy LOL).
Kids are curious. Asking questions isn’t rude.
I grew up where “because I said so” was the parenting cop out for an acceptable answer. Kids have questions. Chances are if your 3 year old is asking “why”…… they genuinely want to know why. Kids are people just like everyone else and just like you, they want explanations. “Why?” is just a question. I’ve yet to meet anyone with severe mental health issues from getting their questions answered.
Every indiscretion doesn’t require punishment.
Especially at such a young age. Kids are constantly pushing the boundaries and seeing just how far they can cross the line. I make it a point to make sure I explain bad choices ONCE. Because hey, maybe he really didn’t know! I hate when I tell someone about something less than stellar RJ did and their first question is “did you pop him????” like wth… no I explained to him why what he was doing was wrong. Imagine that….
What are some things you learned about parenting that you didn’t learn from the generation before you? Leave your thoughts in the comments!
In an interview with Australian magazine Stellar, Serena is quoted about her feelings on giving birth saying, “I am about to be a real woman now, you know? It’s going to be something incredibly impressive to go through”.
Baaaaaaybeh! Fans and haters alike are BIG MAD at that quote. While I don’t think Williams was necessarily trying to take away anything from women who don’t give birth whether by choice or not, she forgot the golden rule of being in the spotlight, choose your words carefully! Nonetheless Williams had a fun-filled weekend celebrating “Baby O” and I’m sure the impending arrival of baby makes it so much easier for the champion to brush off the negativity.
What do you think? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!